First up is Satan's Black Wedding, a 1975 mishmash of occult shenanigans and vampirism. The story kicks off with the apparent wrist-slashing suicide of Nina (Lisa Milano), whose brother, Mark (Greg Braddock), arrives to attend her funeral and shack up in her crime scene apartment. Thanks to a few not-subtle police remarks that the death didn't bear the earmarks of a suicide, Mark begins to investigate and learns that his sis was part of a California beachside vampiric cult… who now have new insidious plans devised for Mark.
As far as post-Rosemary's Baby cash-ins go, you could probably do worse than this West Coast offering; however, despite some brutal lashings of gore and a few oddball plot twists, there isn't really enough of a spin on the material to distinguish this one when it's surrounded by the similar but more creative likes of Satan's Children or Messiah of Evil. A painless timekiller to be sure, but it's completely eclipsed on the same DVD by…
Criminally Insane. Actress Priscilla Alden goes down in sleaze cinema history as Ethel Janowski, first seen as a raving mental patient eventually released back into society on the condition that her granny (Jane Lambert) puts her on a diet and brings her back for electroshock appointments! The freed Ethel begins wolfing down everything in sight, forcing her elderly caretaker to take preventive measures by locking up the kitchen pantry – with a vicious knifing from Ethel awaiting her as punishment. However, a life of solitude and gluttony for Ethel remains out of reach thanks to the arrival of her trashy, promiscuous sister, Rosalee, and her gender-bending boyfriend, whose friends and tricks turn the house into a feeding ground of potential fresh meat for Ethel's bloodlust. Hilarious, repellent, and utterly fascinating, this quirky 1975 gem would play well with Paul Bartel's Private Parts and offers more entertainment packed into its tight one-hour running time than many horror films twice its length.
Unfortunately the same can't be said for Criminally Insane II (a.k.a. Crazy Fat Ethel II), a shot-on-video 1987 sequel thrown in here as a barely-advertised extra. From the same school that brought you such recycled curiosities as Silent Night, Deadly Night 2, this half-hearted follow-up pads out most of its running time with footage from the previous film, intercut with new bits showing an older Ethel moving back into a flophouse and trying to maintain a grip on her appetite and murderous urges. Uneventful in the extreme, it's worth watching as an editing experiment but not much else.
Considering it's only competing with murky, ancient videotape releases from the early 1980s, Shock-o-Rama's DVD doesn't have much to competition in terms of transfers – which is probably a good thing. The film's definitely benefit from fresh new overhauls straight from the director's elements in storage, though time has left them looking a bit battered and bleary in spots. Still, it's a welcome upgrade, and clarity and color are satisfying throughout. (The third feature is lifted from video sources and looks, well, like an early ‘80s VHS tape.) Phillips also contributes quite a bit for extras, including full commentary tracks (with a lot of dead space) for the two 1975 features along with "42nd Street Pete" and his wife/producer Irmi in which he discusses the process of putting each feature together and lamenting the shortcomings he spies now decades later. He also turns up for short video interviews (both clocking in near five minutes each) about the two main features, plus a featurette with Alden (who surprisingly looks much fresher and more energetic now!) to discuss more details about the making of Criminally Insane. Also included are trailers for Satan's Black Wedding, Criminally Insane, and Slime City.
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by Nathaniel Thompson
